淑婷❤

Wednesday, 25 October 2017.

These past few months I've been so confused with what I truly wanted, and what I thought was right. I thought it was right to do what I did, not knowing who I might hurt, even if I knew I was hurting myself all along. I have never felt so broken. I have never felt so torn apart. I've never thought I hit rock bottom till I felt what I did, and the scary part was I never thought the day would get any better. It was dark. Real dark. And cold. For days. I had come to a point where I isolated myself just because it was easier. To shut people out for awhile. To ignore texts and messages, to stay home all week, to get up each morning and have to start the day all over again, except it didn't start off right. I should smile, make plans, go out, get some fresh air, listen to the breeze, smell the rain, and... feel. For a while I forgot what it felt like to feel something in my heart. People thought I was a cold and dark person inside, but only then did I truly feel dead. People started realising the change in me, people started noticing the sudden disappearance, and I started to open my eyes to people who truly cared about me. People who asked if I was alright. People who bothered to ask how my day was. People who cared about my well-being. People who made cookies, bought my favourite matcha, bought ice cream for me. I discovered that I could only find solace from the one who broke me. I then started to realise how I never really looked for anyone when I was hurting. How I usually kept to myself when my heart was tightening within me. But these past few months I started opening up more, only to find out people cared the way I did. And because of this I started to appreciate the little things more than I would've. I started to cherish the ones around me. I started to wake up in the morning and smile at how beautiful the day could be if I chose to be happy, instead of dwell. I care too goddamn much, that I'm tired. I really appreciate my friends and family. ♥

01:58

Crush by David Archuleta

I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time
Deep inside it was a rush
What a rush

'Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way about me
It's just too much
Just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized
So mesmerized
And I've just got to know

[Chorus:]
Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we could be?
Where this thing could go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you?
Are you holding back
Like the way you do?
'Cause I'm trying, trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't going away
Going away

Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging,
Spending time, girl, are we just friends?
Is there more? Is there more? (Is there more)

See it's a chance we've gotta take
'Cause I believe that we can make
This into something that'll last
Last forever, forever

[Chorus]

Why do I keep running from the truth? (why do I keep running?)
All I ever think about is you (all I ever think about)
You got me hypnotized (hypnotized)
So mesmerized (mesmerized)
And I've just got to know

Do you ever think (ever think)
When you're all alone (all alone)
All that we could be,
Where this thing could go (go)
Am I crazy or falling in love, (crazy)
Is this real or just another crush (another crush)
Do you catch a breath,
When I look at you,
Are you holding back,
Like the way I do,
'Cause I'm trying, trying to walk away,
But I know this crush ain't going away ya ya ya yaaa
(this crush ain't) going away ya ya ya yaaa
(goin' away) going away ya ya ya yaaa
(when you're all alone
All that we could be,
Where this thing could go)
Going away ya ya ya yaaa

01:04