淑婷❤

Sunday, 31 July 2016.

Singapore, here I am. It's been 2 years, everything seemed so familiar, but I couldn't quite imagined the feeling could be so incredible. To see my parents, for instance, to visit old places that never could actually get old to me, to see my friends and the smiles they brought the moment they saw me. The feeling was so warm and it's so amazing to realise everything's not quite changed, though everyone went on their separate ways. I could easily tell that the Bukit View family's strong within and nothing could break us apart. No matter how far each and every one of us drift apart from each other, one small gathering could bring about so much laughter and happiness through memories and the chemistry. However, these two years without being surrounded by my friends I call my family, and in a place I call my home, I met a few more amazing people along the way. I guess that's what happens when your life progresses and your social circle expands. I'd dedicate this to everyone I really miss, from Singapore and from Canada. But, I can't help feeling so lonely in a crowded place. I'll dedicate to my friends after, but right now all I can think about is you. How different it feels to be back home, but home is where you are, and you are not with me. I know it sounds crazy, it's just been a few days, but I know you'd completely understand how I am feeling this very moment. Rene, how I wish we could spend each and every moment together during this summer before our school starts again and it's back to just seeing you a few hours a day. Life is unimaginable without you, the way you love someone is unconditional and I am honoured to be that one person you wish were your last and I hope you know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you because you've loved me the way no one ever had. And you've given me your all and trusted me with your life, the way everyone else would've found it hard to do.
Rene, I miss the way we'd talk about everything, like we didn't have to wake up the next day. But here, due to the time difference, I'm awake when you sleep and you're awake when I'm going to bed. However, we still managed to video call every now and then, and call everyday though it may just be a few minutes but it's still worth it to be able to hear your voice and the way you sound when you're excited to talk to me, because you make it seem like its the first time you've heard mine in like years.
I miss the way you'd send me a long good morning text, everyday without fail. Each telling me to be careful, and have a good day and how it'll always make my day when I wake up in the morning. But no matter how my day ended, it still feels incomplete without you. Whose arms can I wrap myself in? Whose hand can I gently hold as we walk across the street? These are really the small things I miss about you.
I miss your touch. Soft and warm. I could never get used to the feeling you give me when you hug me everytime you see me as though we've parted for years. The tightness of your hug tells me you never want to let me go. The sound of your voice tells me you fear losing me. The way you carried me shows me how much I can rely on you, and the way you danced with me, even on the streets, shows me that your heart's forever youthful. I wish I could see more of what I already see on the screen. I wish you were here in person. I really wished I could bore people with my stories with you, but it's just because I'm so proud to call you mine.
I miss your kiss. The one thing that weakens me to my core. It makes me feel special because I'm the only one who can own that kiss. That gentle touch on my lips that gets me addicted. I love you with all my heart.
I miss your smile. Everytime you smile at me, my heart melts, my heart beats a thousand times a second, and I could feel butterflies flutter in my stomach. Your smile is truly my kryptonite. I wrote this the time that we fought. And I'm pretty sure you read it in my phone, It's called 'Smile': We fought, we argued, we shouted and yelled. But the moment you shot me with your smile, it made me forget about the sadness, the anger, it made me forget what was happening at my front door. It made me forget that we were fighting just a second ago. That smile, that simple smile, was all it took and I lost. I was weak, I knew that I needed you. I knew that a second later, I'd be in your arms. My pride, my dignity... Your smile was all it took to crush them like they never existed. I lost. Your smile, amazing and beautiful as it is, gave me strength and made me weak at the same time. It gave me courage and hope. We're going to be alright.
I'll see you in a month :) It's such a short time, by the time you blink and open your eyes, I'd already be back. Thank you for everything. And also for managing your time among your family, friends, work and me. i love you Rene

20:35