淑婷❤

Tuesday, 2 August 2011.

youre the first to ever hold my hands, youre the first to ever hug me, youre the first to ever feed me. After what you said to me, I realised, when you sent me home, bought me bubble tea and held my hands the other day, it might be the last time youre doing it. It pains me, because youre someone who I never stopped loving, and I never plan to. Please, I would do anything for you to love me again like you once did. Because true love doesnt have an ending. I know we dont go out often, maybe only once or twice, but I know those days when we do get to see each other, many things would happen. You'd do so many things just to put a smile on my face. I loved how when Im down, youd come up to me, asking whats the matter. But now ? I doubt you would ever do it again. Maybe as time goes by, we would move on.. But for now, I cant help but cry a few more times. I cried in the morning, I cried before I slept, I cried in class, I cried in assembly, I cried in Home Econs class, and I cried during recess, and I cried when I reached home. All these happened in one damn day. Im tired of these fallen tears, these fake smiles. I should just cry all I want now, cause I know, tomorrow will be a better day. But it seems its too hard to let go. I mean, this is the first time I had to go through these kinds of things. One thing popped into my head: Would I still get goodmorning/goodnight texts ? Would I ever get to hear/see you say/type 'I love you' again ? Would I even get to hear your voice again ? This was so unexpected. As ManJia said, "cry all you want now, but when the clock hits 12, forget all about it, because the more you think about it, the more its harder to let go, and itll just make you sadder. I dont have to forget him, but at least keep him in that little corner in your heart." And like Erica said, "whats over, is over. Just tell yourself that." I know theyre saying these things just to cheer me up, but its so hurting that I actually have to try and do it... I love you, and I always had. I kept looking at those things that you gave me, such as, the vouchers you gave, the pencil holder you made for me during D&T and the stickys that wrote 'I Love You' in it. I just kept crying and crying. I havent given you anything much. I remembered when I wanted bubble tea, you just went on your way opposite school for my Milk Tea(without pearls). I remembered you saying 'I love you' to me thru phone, and pretending I didnt her it so that you could repeat it times and again.... People including sec1s saw me cry and I just felt like one idiot. When I walked by your class, I told myself, nothing's wrong. But when I knew we were gonna walk by your class soon, my heart beat so fast. I tried not to look at you during assembly. I tried to forget everything. But if one small little thing reminds me of you, I think Id break down. All the times you sent me home, I felt like Im over the moon. All the times you texted me, I screamed a little. All the times you held my hands, I felt safe. I finally knew that someone would actually be beside me all the way, to walk with me down the end of the road, without turning back. I can tell you, I never lived in regrets. In fact, I was happy. So stop saying all your sorrys. i couldnt face you anymore. But I cant bear not seeing your face for day. although friends had cheered me up, I still felt like somethings missing. Youre my missing puzzle piece, couldnt you complete me ? I know you wanna me to cheer up and such. Ill be cheerful, Ill be happy, Ill be ok, Ill be worried... Well, I dunno if your feelings had faded, but I know, that Id still be waiting for your texts(although they may never come) and Id still be daydreaming bout you endlessly.. my life is just another empty shell.. I L O V E Y O U♥

06:37