Wednesday, 6 July 2011.
Nowadays, Ive been going to Erica's house, eating maggie mee and such. Been doing the poster for the whole of last week, and even have 2 more things I have to do: 1. do a powerpoint bout the Alimentary Canal and its functions. (which Ive finally done today) and 2. The stupid 'Diabetes research' (needa ask Erica for the questions later). Even though its homework, it was really fun spedning our homeworks time together. And +, I even met her pretty cousin. ;) I love her house ! Anyways, today had DC, and when you saw me it was damn embarrassing. But you just came to me and asked what happened. Hoho, sadly, its even more embarrassing to say I was late for school. Anyways, shall go bath now.
05:35
.
Hey, Im back to posting.. Ok, nowadays Ive just been feeling sad, cause of my quarrels with my best friends and how they treat me like complete shit right now, cause they wouldnt even look at me. But right now, thats not what Im sad. Im sad, because I cant seems to stop hating people. As my mum said all the time, I should stop creating more enemies, instead, I should be making more friends. And I felt, hmm, if I hate more people, that would make me a crappy person, and +, that person would hate me too. And so Im gonna try and stop.
I told myself, that from now on, Id be a happy-go-lucky girl leading a normal life and such, without quarrels and tears. But then I realized, even the happiest person in the world would have problems. I mean, this is life, you cant possibly stop it. I just found out that today, one of my best friends, dont feel the same way bout me, cause even I cant me his 'xiao mei'.... I cant let that bother me. Even though thats been bugging me the very moment I heard it. Sigh, I felt like deep shit, cause I wanna be an important friend to him, but I guess he doesnt feel that way, so I should just stop wishing and just treat him as a normal friend as well... The other thing that made me sad today was, that the way you texted me, it was as if I was leaving for Canada already. I know once I leave for Canada to study, Im never coming back, but that doesnt mean you have to try to plan things out for me. You said one of the conditions I have to make was 'I have to continue to move on'. I thought maybe the condition was 'never to forget you'(which I wouldve done so without any problems.) But it seems you think I was gonna break with you, I wouldnt. Even if I have to go Canada study. But then the prob is, youre the one whos supposed to move on. Since youre 18 and all, and so you shouldnt be wasting this year with me when I dont even give my all to make this relationship better. But I know you dont wanna break, so why bring that up ? Once I read those words, tears didnt fall, but instead, I swear I could feel in my heart that there was something that made me feel uncomfortable. I think its called 'heartbroken'. I swear, cause I think I felt that way. Dont do this to me.... Sigh, but you might as well start now to find someone new. I dont wanna lose you, but it seems like theres no choice.
05:31
